How do you measure a man’s worth?
I’m guessing the hunter-gatherer was judged by the quantity of meat he brought home and the early 20th-century man by the geography and people he colonised, terrorised and plundered. Since then, and until a few years ago, worth was perhaps financial prowess: How a man steers a business to dizzying heights and exploits loopholes to avoid paying tax.
But these days, public esteem is earned on a higher plane: Social media. And, while you can get a few highbrow plaudits by writing uplifting stuff on LinkedIn, the only avenue for mass appeal and universal acclaim is WhatsApp.
So today, in my usual altruistic way, I’m going to show you how to reign supreme on this ubiquitous platform. I offer you a layman’s guide to becoming the King of WhatsApp Forwards (KWF in short).
First, the key principle: It’s all about quantity and speed (or QS – picture a Singapore Airlines plane flying backwards).
Quantity is achieved easily: Join as many groups as possible.
Here’s a thought-starter list:
1. School groups (separately for each school you’ve studied in): Alumni, batch alumni, and batch-in-same- country alumni.
2. Repeat (1) for all colleges you attended, if applicable.
3. All alumni groups of all the places you’ve worked and, if they have separate chapters, the one for your country (and perhaps add the one for the global headquarters for good measure).
4. Every hobby has its WhatsApp group. If you play tennis, you’re obviously in a few tennis ones. (If you don’t, please start – it’s the king of games, a wise man recently wrote). But don’t restrict yourself only to your hobby. Join a few other groups too – you may need to cajole your spouse and friends to add you but that’s what they’re there for.
5. Professional associations. If they have sub-groups, join them all.
6. Parents’ group of your kids’ classmates.
7. People you met on a hike who ended the trek with “let’s stay in touch”. That is not an exhaustive list. Use it as fodder for your imagination.
Now to speed:
1. Wake up before dawn to beat the WhatsApp traffic. And no, don’t send a “good morning” message with a picture of the sun rising over a verdant hill adjoining a shimmering lake. That has become very cringe.
I mean rise early and spend two hours watching TikTok videos, while the competition is still sleeping or jogging in the park. Shortlist “likely” candidates at the first brush, then view them again to select the best two.
Forward #1 to all the groups you belong to. Pro tip: Don’t overdo it. Send just one video at 6am daily. Remember that’s only the first forward of the day – more advice follows (including what to do with #2).
2. Through the day, the moment you see something nice in any of your WhatsApp groups (obviously you’re constantly checking the phone to ensure you don’t miss blockbusters), forward it to all the other groups. Do you now see why being a member of many groups is important? It’s to both get and give.
3. You have to be quick because WhatsApp is now limiting us to forwarding good messages (ones already forwarded plentifully) to only one group at a time. (Yes, it used to be five. Tell me about it.) Measure the time you take to forward one message to all your groups, set a target and then practise, practise, practise. Pro tip: Use a stopwatch.
4. With AI, the number of messages has multiplied like crazy. So another pro tip: Do not waste time checking if each message is true or fake. This wastes valuable time.
5. In some groups, there will be the vigilante who checks such stuff – I know, some people have so much time on their hands! If they point this out, it’ll likely be ignored because 20 other messages would have followed yours, and few people will be interested in going back, reading yours in the light of “oh, it’s fake”. But, for insurance, immediately send your backup (#2 in point #1) – this is the reason for having an extra for each day. And of course, don’t waste it. Send it to all the groups, not just the one harbouring the vigilante.
The caveman had the club, the coloniser the map. You have the forward button. Use it well, by which I mean constantly. Your worth depends on it.
Paddy Rangappa (https://www.linkedin.com/in/paddyrangappa/), an ex-CEO, now teaches humour for leaders; happiness at work; and marketing through consumer insights.
