For a period of time every morning, 60-year-old Thamburajulu Porchelvi felt nervous as she left home for work.
She had to leave behind her 33-year-old son and 80-year-old mother, who depend on her almost 24/7.
Her son Janarthan Balakrishnan has autism and suffers from epilepsy. While her mother, who is a heart patient, suffers from diabetes, thyroid and has liver issues.
Mr Janarthan was five years old when he was diagnosed with autism. When he was a toddler, Ms Porchelvi took him to a speech therapist after noticing he could not talk properly. He also has weak limbs, needs help with showering and spends most of his time at home.
“Janarthan randomly throws tantrums and his mood swings easily. Only my mum and I can understand his emotions. He may be smiling one moment, but the next minute he will suddenly shout and throw a fit,” said Ms Porchelvi, who works full-time as an administrative assistant at a logistics company.
“I tried sending him to daycare centres before, but he used to cry when he was there. I have no choice but to keep him at home.”
Ms Porchelvi needs to ensure that her son takes his medicine every day, as well as an injection once every three weeks to regulate his mood.
She also has to keep a close eye on her younger sister, who suffers from dementia and lives alone.
“I am sort of a caregiver to my sister too,” said Ms Porchelvi. She has no one and needs my help. Sometimes I have to remind her about certain things. Since she is also suffering from depression, she needs my moral support.”
Ms Porchelvi, who got divorced when her son was five years old, also has an older daughter who is married and living on her own.
“I faced a lot of struggles after the divorce. I had no one. It was just my parents, and then my dad passed away about 10 years ago,” she said.
“Janarthan was very close to him and he went into depression after my dad’s passing. He didn’t understand why his grandfather was suddenly not there. It took many years for us to make him understand.”
While Ms Porchelvi could initially rely on her mother to take care of her son, that hasn’t been the case since her mother’s health deteriorated.
“Anything can happen at any time to my mother. She is very weak and I can’t be relying on her every time to take care of him,” she said.
The Movement for the Intellectually Disabled of Singapore (Minds), a voluntary welfare organisation, has stepped in to support the family.
Mr Janarthan now gets weekly training from Minds’ home-based care services on basic skills such as solving puzzles as well as throwing and catching a ball.
Minds will release a series of six modules on life plans, living arrangements, and support networks and services later this year. The modules are part of Minds’ beefed-up online portal on future care planning options for caregivers, called FutureReady.
This comes after Minds saw an uptick in inquiries from caregivers on making future care arrangements.
“The conversations highlighted a growing concern among caregivers regarding future planning for their children with special needs,” said Ms Ong Lay Hoon, director of community-based support services at Minds.
“They wanted more detailed information on the schemes and grants available, along with guidance on asset distribution to ensure their children’s financial security in their absence.”
Some of Minds’ initiatives have helped Ms Porchelvi, who has also undergone caregiver training, alleviate her financial burden in taking care of her family.
She engaged a helper three months ago to care for her ailing mother and son while she is at work. She also took up side jobs like baking and selling murukku online.
Concerned about her son’s future, she hopes to gradually take him out more and expose him to the world.
But she needs extra hands.
“I wish there are more male volunteers who can help single mothers like me,” said Ms Porchelvi. “They can bring my son out and spend time with him.”
