KIRTHIGA RAVINDARAN
It was in a random online chat room 20 years ago that Mrs Durga Devi and her husband Vadiveilan Gunsekaran “bumped” into each other.
“I met him through the Microsoft Internet Relay Chat,” said Mrs Durga, a 37-year-old pre-school teacher. “I was 17, awaiting my GCE O-level results, while he was 19 and doing national service,” she said.
“From the chat room we soon began talking over the phone. I was attracted to his gentle, serene nature.
“I vividly remember telling him that I liked him, but he said he needed to get to know me personally before committing to a relationship.”
The couple got married in 2012 and have three children.
Though online chat rooms are rare these days, the couple’s story is one of many in this digital age where an increasing number of singles are turning to apps and dating sites to find a suitable partner.
The method does have its advantages, such as a plethora of suitable “candidates” to choose from, as well as the ability to find a partner according to common interests, life goals and locations.
Mrs Durga, however, warned that the process does have certain pitfalls.
“Sometimes, you tend not to settle on one person and continue to search and chat with others, as the Internet provides you with such opportunities.
“But, when you find someone online, you can find out if the person is real or not by the way he responds – there is no pre-judgement or high expectations.”
Mrs Vijayamalar Thavachelvam and Mr Ramesh Velayutham who are celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary this June, met under more traditional circumstances.
Their love story spans almost five decades, as they started out as family friends and neighbours when they were kids before their mutual attraction blossomed over the years.
“I liked her way back when I was 10,” said Mr Ramesh, who is now a 57-year old financial service manager. “I recall trying to catch her attention by cycling near her house and acting boisterously.
“Whenever I was around her, I would try to act cool and show off in the hope that she would like me too. She didn’t notice my actions initially, but slowly began to warm up to me.”
Mrs Viji finally reciprocated Mr Ramesh’s affections when she was 20 and working as a customer service officer at a training company. Mr Ramesh, then 23, was a mechanical engineer at maritime transportation company Sembawang Bethlehem.
“I began to see him as more than just the neighbourhood boy,” said Mrs Viji, now 54 and a baker. “I saw his qualities and admired his caring nature, and realised he loved me deeply.”
After a few years of courting, the couple got hitched in 1994.
“She was the angel of my life and I decided that, if I am to marry, it would be only to her,” said Mr Ramesh.
On the topic of technology playing the role of cupid these days, Mrs Viji and Mr Ramesh agreed that dating apps do have the benefit of introducing a person to more people outside their daily circle.
“We were blessed that we found each other right next door, but sometimes this is not possible, and it’s okay to search online.”
She pointed out that, despite the evolving landscape of human connection in the digital age, the essence of love remains unchanged.
