Feeling misunderstood and neglected in his youth, Mr Shanker Manokaran found a misplaced sense of belonging with the wrong crowd in school and went astray during his teenage years. His involvement in gangsterism and drug use, including cannabis and ecstasy, eventually led him into legal trouble.
“My mindset was brash and reckless. I was driven by selfish thoughts and believed I knew best, often ignoring my parents because I felt nobody understood me. I constantly sought validation and belonging, mistaking peer pressure for true friendship,” he recalled.
Today, the 47-year-old reflects on his past with gratitude. Through determination and self-awareness, he has built a fulfilling family life and a successful career.
Currently a technical account manager with Amazon Web Services, Mr Shanker continues to upgrade his qualifications, holding a master’s degree in computer science and a doctorate in psychology.
In his personal time, he volunteers at the Centre for Psychotherapy, mentoring youths-at-risk.
“When I see these youths, I see a reflection of who I once was,” he said. “In many ways, I was like Karna from the Mahabharata, extremely loyal but blinded by the wrong cause.”
His turning point came with the death of his father, a Singapore Armed Forces regular, who passed away from advanced throat cancer at 58. The loss awakened in him a deep sense of responsibility towards his mother and younger sister.
“I was forced to confront my inner traumas and realise I could no longer see myself as a victim. I needed to change to take charge of my life.”
The Path to Healing and Growth
Joining the workforce soon after his father’s demise and progressing in his career after was the first step.
Mr Shanker transitioned from the hospitality industry, underwent skills upgrading, and became an IT technician in 2012, eventually rising to an executive position.
“Maturity doesn’t come with age. Some people my age are still stuck in the past, but I’ve learned that growth is a conscious choice,” he said.
Today, he finds strength and balance in the support of his wife, Madam Christine Wong, and their pet dog, Hazel, his constant companions through life’s ups and downs.
Mr Shanker pointed out that past mental wounds and scars could incite new mistakes, and such problems should be timely addressed through mental health counselling. He highlighted that this very counselling saved his marital life, which was rocky at one point.
“By undergoing therapy, I began to unwind my traumas and understand that many of my selfish actions were trauma-driven. The healing power of therapy is profound, and it is a resource that people should utilise to improve their lives,” he noted.
In 2024, Mr Shanker published his book, The Heart of Oneness, a personal work that chronicles his journey towards inner peace and compassion. Through it, he hopes to inspire others to embark on their own path of self-discovery and healing.
“If we light a lamp within ourselves on Deepavali and keep it burning all year, the festival will truly become a celebration of inner light,” he said.
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20 Oct 2023 6:37
