We can Save the World! is a local comedy film I am starring in. Please do come and watch with family and support local cinema.
Sorry, I had to do a shoutout up front, just in case you are too “busy” to read the rest of this piece.
I invited my dear journalist friend to the premiere of my film. He sighed, looked apologetic, and said: “I’d love to, but I already have five events on that day.”
Five? On the same day??!! Yep, this is Singapore – a tiny island where space is limited but schedules are infinite.
For a country where you can drive from one end to the other in under an hour, we pack in more events than continents 10 times our size.
A single Saturday can kick off with an early morning hike around Coney Island with your walking group, followed by a Women’s Empowerment talk by SINDA, a Buddhist chanting session, a Peranakan cooking demo, ending with a cultural show and Durga puja prayers!
For many that’s just par for the course! We don’t just have a busy calendar, we have a calendar on steroids.
But let’s be honest: no one takes the “busy bee” crown quite like the Indian diaspora. Somewhere in our cultural DNA lies an inability to sit still, to turn down an invite, or to say the dreaded word “no” to any invitation.
Declining is almost un-Indian. You don’t reject invitations, you negotiate them.
Why are we like this? Perhaps because our social lives are our oxygen. Remember the old days, before we had to formally chope an appointment on WhatsApp to show up to “muah muah” an old friend?
Yep, those days when a swirl of neighbours dropped by before you were out of your pyjamas? When cousins arrived unannounced for breakfast like they had some supper sensory perception that thosais were cooking? When parties were so sprawling with the invited and the uninvited that they counted as sporting events?
Not anymore! We’ve re-callibrated that whirlpool of activity – now everything is scheduled down to the minute, RSVP required.
Saying yes to everything gives us a smug sense of importance. “Oh, you’re busy? Me too! I have one housewarming, two farewells for leavers to Dubai, a fund raiser concert and a geriatric friend’s birthday party.”
Our busyness is a badge of honour of exalted status. If you are not attending at least four events a week, are you even alive?
Oh the dreaded FOMO – Fear of Missing Out. You don’t make it to the party, you are absent from the inevitable WhatsApp photo album that follows.
There is nothing more painful than scrolling through 127 photos of people laughing over biryani you didn’t eat. So we stretch ourselves thin, racing from event to event, sometimes changing outfits in Grab cars and refreshing lipstick at traffic lights.
How do we choose which event to attend? Therein lies the comedy: we don’t. We attempt to attend all of them in one heroic feat of scheduling. However, when forced to choose, the hierarchy of decision-making is very Indian:
Food. If one invite says “light refreshments will be served” and another promises “sumptuous buffet”, guess where we’re heading?
Networking Value. The event where you can take a photo with a minister, a potential client, or someone who can get your child into a better school wins.
Proximity. If the event is at Changi and you live in Jurong, only free valet parking and lobster thermidor will justify the trek.
Peer Pressure. If the whole gang is going, you go. No questions asked.
And while Singaporeans of every background are busy, we Indians bring our own flair to the art of overcommitting.
It’s not enough to attend, we must participate. We volunteer to sing at the fundraiser, moderate the panel, organise the dessert table and emcee the dinner – all at the same time.
Why? Because we excel at EVERYTHING and can do it with flair but also because saying “no” feels like letting someone down. And heaven forbid we let anyone down.
Of course, this endless yes-saying comes at a price. By Sunday night, we are drained, our throats hoarse from networking, our WhatsApp overloaded with photos and our calendars already plotting next week’s madness.
But do we stop? Never. Because the one time we do, someone will ask “Where were you? You missed it!” Those words strike terror in our insecure hearts.
So we keep buzzing, as busy as bees. Our hive is spread across exhibition halls, community centres, temples, theatres, and hotel ballrooms. Our nectar is the food, the friendships, and yes, the bragging rights.
Maybe my journalist friend was right to skip my premiere. Maybe five events in one day is a perfectly Singaporean excuse. Perhaps it’s our way of saying: this island may be small, but our lives are not.
And who knows – maybe the only truly exclusive event in Singapore will be the one where nobody shows up. Not because it wasn’t important, but because everyone was already triple-booked.
But here’s a thought: what if we said “no” once in a while? What if we allowed ourselves an evening of stillness, of conversations that don’t end with a photo, of meals eaten slowly with no agenda except to enjoy them? We might discover that the best invitation of all is to our own lives – and that’s the one we mustn’t miss.
Remember The Bare Necessities song from Jungle book?
So just try and relax, yeah cool it
Fall apart in my backyard
Cause let me tell you something little britches
If you act like that bee acts - uh- uh
You’re working too hard!
(Daisy Irani Subaiah is a media and theatre professional with work experience in Singapore and India.)
