A recent conversation with our 13-year-old revolved around a familiar dilemma: Is it more important to do what you are good at, or to pursue what you love?
My answer surprised even me, because I realised how consistently my own life competence has always come ahead of passion.
That belief took root early. During my university years, completing my degree was non-negotiable for my parents.
In a typical Indian household, the expectation would have naturally extended to post-graduation. Instead, I persuaded them to let me enrol in a year-long international exchange internship programme. In 1997, that decision took me to Mainz, a quiet town a few hours from Frankfurt.
For a 21-year-old, the experience felt almost unreal. Living alone in a foreign country, earning a stipend, managing my own expenses, travelling on weekends, and working in an international environment – it was freedom in its purest form. Reality, of course, was more layered.
That year in Germany exposed me to racial discrimination, but also to deep friendships. It strengthened my family ties, confronted me with loneliness, and taught me self-reliance beyond any syllabus.
When I returned to India, I made a career choice with little romance attached to it. I chose work that paid well enough to allow independence – to live alone in a city, pay rent, and meet my needs without compromise. That career stayed with me for over 25 years, even as cities changed.
It took me across the length and breadth of India, from small towns to large metros, travelling by trains and three-wheelers alike. The objective was simple and non-negotiable: Do the job well. The experiences – both rewarding and difficult – came as part of the bargain, and I absorbed them all.
In the current phase of my career, my journey to discover work in Indonesia unexpectedly brought me full circle. The last five years rekindled the same instincts I had at the start – taking risks, finding joy in small wins, seeking work where impact is visible, and recognising that even modest acts of kindness can leave lasting impressions.
Lately, my repeated work visits to Nyanyi, a small district in Tabanan, Bali, have been particularly transformative.
The quiet moments there before the workday kicks in – walks to the beach, conversations with villagers, a slow life without retail or restaurant distractions – mirror my time in Mainz.
The absence of noise taught me to slow down and value the smallest, often overlooked joys.
Through all of this, one lesson has become clear. I strive to be a living example for my daughters – one in university and one in school – that happiness is not defined by glass cabins or fancy offices. It comes from taking pride in one’s work, finding meaning in sustained effort, and defining success on one’s own terms.
(Anu Gupta is owner-director of Singapore-based communications firm APRW.)
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10 Dec 2025 12:47
