Op-ed: Conversations with a 100-Year-Old

I had just lost a dear friend at 66 when I began a conversation with a 100-year-old.

Between grief and longevity, I found myself wondering who decides what a “full life” really means.

One life felt unbearably short, the other gently reminded me that time has its own mischievous logic.

I’ve never met a 100-year-old person. Until now, that is.

My dear friend Jamshed Fozdar, whom I have known for ages, is turning 100! Really? He looks, walks, talks and behaves the same as when I first met him 33 years ago.

In fact, I am the one who has grown older. He is always so vibrant and funny, but doesn’t suffer fools gladly.

Talking to this man, who is a theologian, author and jester, is like attending a “Ted Talk” – informative and engaging except that he always has the last word. He is stubborn, argumentative, knowledgeable and has a smile like Clark Gable from that classic film Gone with the Wind. 

I’ve requested him to donate his brain for research so that all of us who aspire to be 100 years old have the perfect model to emulate. His response to that was: “They extracted and analysed ‘buddy’ Einstein’s brain and found nothing!”

My chat with him started with the obvious: Jamshed, how old are you? Jamshed: I am 99 years + 3 months (+ 9 months in the womb). So, I am a full CENTENARIAN according to the Chinese, who correctly calculate birth from the time of conception. And, I will be 100 on October 17, 2026, while my wife Parvati will be 99 on November 14, 2026. All that is, of course, if “THE MAN UPSTAIRS” doesn’t beam us up before then!

That last sentence reminded me of the urgency to do this interview. Enjoy:

The Big, Beautiful Life Questions:

“What is the biggest misunderstanding younger people have about growing old? Of course, you’ve hit the nail on the head – it’s about “GROWING OLD”.

Is there anything you now realise we take far too seriously in life? Trying to prolong life artificially.

What is the one thing you still worry about – even at 100?  A painless passage to that next stage of “consciousness” wherein one is untrammelled by physical constraints.

If you could go back and tell your 20-year-old self one sentence, what would it be? Prepare to help your fellow humans to enable them to experience true contentment.

Do you fear death? NO, since no one exits this life “ALIVE”. 

How do you prepare for it? By getting ready and expectant in mind for a much wider existence.

Given the world-changing eras and events you’ve lived through, what is something you’ve learnt about societal changes? That aside from DISINTEGRETION there is no alternative to INTEGRATION for humanity to live as one family in a single ever-constricting home, our tiny planet EARTH.

What life philosophy or piece of advice would you give to a younger version of yourself ? Live your life not merely for yourself but to contribute to the betterment of others.

If you could go anywhere at any point in time for a particular meal, where/when/what would it be? At home, my wife Parvati’s cooking.

Love, Marriage and Living to 100 (with a 99+year-old wife)

What is the secret to staying married for so long without killing each other? We are married for 77 years and have a patent on this secret, and its divulgence fee would be excessive for most.

What is the most unexpected thing you’ve learnt about your wife in the last 10 years? Something I only understood after turning 90, that even at 99, I must still keep learning.

Who apologises first? (And has that always been the case?) I do. Yes, and gentlemanly of me!

Do very old couples still quarrel – and what are those quarrels about now? Yes, but the right words would be “discuss “or “argue” not “quarrel” about keeping mutual health of body and mind.

Conversations About History – Because He Lived It. 

Jamshed, your life spans pre-war, post-war, independence movements, and historical changes. “Change is the only changeless phenomenon”, not to mention the avoidable “change” from WWIII, which could be just around the corner. I first landed in Singapore in November 1945 en route to the United States when Japanese troops under British control maintained order on the streets here and then returned to Singapore en route to Sarawak in 1951 and again “on and off” since my parents had begun to reside here (as you know, my esteemed late mother Shirin Fozdar initiated the struggle for the Shariah Court and the Women’s Charter for Singapore).

Name some of the important people you met over the century: E.O. Lawrence, Oppenheimer, Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru, S. Radhakrishna, Lee Kuan Yew, et al. Because of my background and also scholasticism on various religions, I have had a many a tete-a-tete with various monarchs in this region, including those of Cambodia and Thailand as also Presidents and PMs.

What has been the most shocking social change you’ve witnessed? Complacency and “ostrich-like” behaviour in the face of horrendous weapons at our fingertips fully capable of making us all disappear!

Health, Longevity and The Unexpected

What’s your secret to living to 100? Good upbringing by parents. Love and unity between siblings, understanding and sharing with my wife Parvati and sons Vijay and Vahid.

At 100, do you still crave certain foods? And does your doctor approve? “Maanaa” from heaven. But my doctor would not want to lose a patient.

Are naps underrated? No, since my enlarged prostate interrupts my sleep at night.

Is there anything you still cannot resist doing even though everyone tells you not to? “Arguments”. But I call these DISCUSSIONS.

The “Headstrong Theologian” Section

Have your beliefs ever gotten you into trouble? Occasionally, but only with ignoramuses.

Do you still enjoy a good debate – and who is your favourite sparring partner now? Yes. I still enjoy a good debate but my such adversaries are all dead. Not my doing!

His Advice to Today’s Indian/Singaporean Diaspora.

What should the Indian diaspora in Singapore never forget — and what must it let go of? It must not forget its “Indianness” which for millennia has absorbed every conceivable culture while it must “LET GO” of its first allegiance to the “landmass” known as India or “Bharat”.

What is your favourite thing about Singapore today compared to the past? Can’t reveal.

What life’s lessons do you think young Singaporeans are missing? They should speak for themselves.

The Fun ones 

What is the most foolish thing you did in your life – that you now laugh about? Unable to pick one.

What makes you laugh even today? My many faux pas and foolish behaviour.

If you could celebrate your 101st birthday in any ridiculous way, what would you choose? Get “suited” to be “beamed up” to “Valhalla”.

I wonder what keeps him sharp and young. I think it’s his great sense of humour and continuous quest of learning. Of course, it helps that he has friends like me on whom he can use his evil wit and get away with it.

Would I want to live till 100? Looking at him, I think I might consider it.

As we parted,I realised the conversation wasn’t about living to 100 or dying at 66. It was about how gently one learns to hold on to life when one is truly living it.

So, when you sit with someone who has lived a century, time stops arguing. It simply asks you to be grateful.