There are two types of drivers in Singapore: those who hold a valid driving licence and those who may or may not have a licence but dictate from the passenger seat. The latter are known as backseat drivers – people who are convinced they know the roads, traffic rules and vehicle mechanics better than you do.
The family GPS
Backseat drivers come in many forms, but none are as legendary as the “Indian family GPS”. A mother, father, aunt, uncle or the most formidable one, a spouse who sits in the passenger seat, issuing a steady stream of commentary. “Turn left! No, not this left! The next left! Arrey, why are you braking so suddenly? You are driving too fast! This is not an F1 track! You think you are Lewis Hamilton? Why are you driving so slow? A snail just overtook us!”
It doesn’t matter how well you’re driving, they will always find something to correct.
The spouse GPS
I admit, I am a backseat driver, but I’m really just a loving guide. Honestly, I don’t like my husband to drive our small but very expensive car (thanks to the high car taxes we pay in Singapore). I’d rather he take the BMW (Bus, MRT, Walk).
For one, I’ve noticed the car always comes back with scratches. Though he won’t admit it, my husband’s really not a good driver. I have no choice but to patiently guide him when I’m in the passenger seat. Sometimes with gritted teeth.
“Honey, you’re following too closely behind that car.”
“Why is there such a big gap? People will keep cutting in!”
“You always drive so recklessly! I knew I should have driven.”
And this is why so many husbands take public transport. The MRT doesn’t trigger divorce proceedings.
The Singapore parking confusion
Singapore’s parking rules are like an advanced-level IQ test that nobody signed up for. Double yellow lines, single yellow lines, zigzag lines – each with their own important meaning that somehow everyone forgets when looking for a parking spot.
Now, picture this: My husband is driving and I’m in the back seat.
Me: Okay, here’s a spot...
Husband: No, cannot! Double yellow line! You want to go to jail?
Me: But everyone has parked here!
Husband: That’s because its CNY! We cannot park there.
Me (pointing to a small gap between cars): How about there?
Husband: No, no, jagged line! That’s for emergency vehicles. They will tow your car faster than you can say “summon”!
Me: Fine! What about this one?
Husband: Single yellow line… can park, but only after 7pm.
Me: It’s 6:59pm.
Husband: Wait one minute. I shall drive around in circles.
Backseat driving: A national sport
You will find backseat drivers everywhere – giving perfectly unnecessary instructions to taxi uncles, Grab drivers and even strangers.
“Uncle, I think you can take a shortcut through Little India.”
(Driver ignores the comment)
“Uncle, I think that’s a one-way road, but you can try lah.”
Taxi drivers in Singapore have mastered the art of nodding politely while completely disregarding their passengers. The Grab app may have GPS navigation, but many riders believe their gut feeling is more reliable.
The phone navigation expert
Then there’s the tourist who insists on navigating using Google Maps, even when the driver has lived in Singapore their entire life.
“Wait, wait, turn right here!”
“There’s no road there.”
“Oh… okay, then maybe in 500m? No, wait, that was the turn! Why didn’t you turn?”
The parking struggle
Singapore has some of the tightest parking spaces in the world, which makes parallel parking doubly stressful. But it can sometimes get catastrophic when your family is in the car.
Once, while parallel parking in Little India, I got the full family choir performance: “Go left. Go right. Straighten the steering wheel now!”
My tyre ended up in the drain. Fortunately, some kind migrant workers helped lift the car out.
The long-distance backstreet driver
Backstreet driving isn’t limited to passengers inside the car – it has gone global, thanks to children who have moved abroad but still need to control how their parents drive back home over the phone (hands-free, of course).
“Papa, why aren’t you using Google Maps? You still rely on Uncle Sharma’s directions?”
“Maa, please don’t drive at night! You know your night vision isn’t great.”
Conclusion: How to survive a backseat driver
Dealing with backseat drivers requires patience, selective hearing and sometimes, noise-cancelling headphones. You can’t argue with them, and you certainly can’t stop them. But you can remind them of one simple truth: “If you don’t like my driving, feel free to take the bus.”
And suddenly, the car goes quiet.
